When Grief Runs Deep
by patronusmagic
Summary: Harry is back in Grimmauld Place after Sirius' death. He has become angry and reclusive. Can Remus pull Harry out of his stupor before It's too late? One shot.


**This will only be a one-shot. I just wanted to do a story on how I think Harry would have been after Sirius death. Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

Remus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as once again; Harry's angry shouting echoed from upstairs. He had been angry and withdrawn since Sirius' death and he wouldn't let anyone comfort him.

They had continued to use Grimmauld Place as headquarters, meaning that select people still had to stay here. Harry had been sent here from the Dursleys and had been moody and reclusive ever since.

"JUST BLOODY LEAVE ME ALONE!" Harry roared.

He heard stomping on the stairs and moments later a worried Ron entered followed by a silently crying Hermione.

"What happened?" Remus said gently, getting up and guiding Hermione to sit on the sofa.

"We tried talking about Sirius with him. Thought it would help if he had someone to talk to but he just screamed that he didn't want to talk about it." said Ron, sighing and putting an arm around Hermione.

"Did he say anything else?" said Remus, sitting on the coffee table in front of the two worried teens.

"No but Ron hears him murmuring in his sleep at night." said Hermione, wiping her eyes.

"What does he say?" Remus said, frowning.

"I'm not too sure but it's along the lines of 'Sirius' death is my fault." said Ron, biting his lower lip.

"Okay not to worry. I'll have a word with him. If you go into the kitchen there's a pot of hot chocolate, help yourselves. I'll talk to Harry."

Harry's best friends shot him grateful looks before leaving the room. Remus smiled in spite of himself when he saw that they were holding hands.

Resigning himself to the fact that he would have to deal with a grieving teenager, Remus got up and started his assent up the stairs. He knocked lightly on Harry's door, no answer.

Sighing softly, he pushed the door open and the sight that met him broke his heart. Harry had fallen asleep, curled into a ball, hugging a pillow to his chest. The pillow was soaked and Harry's face was red, puffy and tear stained, indicating that Harry had cried himself to sleep.

A frown marred his young features even as he slept and his fists were clenched in the soft linen on his pillow.

Remus sat down on Harry's bed and stroked his hair from his face. The boy looked simply awful. He had large bags underneath his eyes and was extremely pale. Harry had fallen asleep without a blanket and Remus could see the fact that Harry was extremely underweight.

He kissed Harry's forehead and pulled the blanket over him. He made to leave the room and only stopped when his hand was on the door knob. Resolving to speak to Harry tomorrow, Remus left the room.

-xxx-

When Remus woke hours later, he came down to find Harry sitting at the kitchen table, in the seat that Sirius used to take and staring into space.

"Harry?"

Harry jumped and whirled around, wand halfway out of his pocket before he realised who it was and he slumped back onto the chair.

"Oh it's you." said Harry, drooping.

Remus sat down in the chair in front of Harry.

"Harry we need to talk." said Remus, reaching over and putting a hand on Harry's knee.

Harry immediately froze up, he scowled at Remus and the fled from the room. Moments later, he heard the drawing room door slam.

"Well that went well." Remus whispered bitterly, putting his head in his hands an rubbing his face.

_I can't give up on him. _He needs some comfort and Merlin he was going to be the one to give him it if it killed him. He was just about to stand up and follow him when he heard shouting.

"Just piss off!" followed by a loud thud and an "Ouch"

Remus jumped up and ran up the stairs, Fred (or was it George?) was nursing a black eye and holding a very heavy hairbrush.

"He threw it at me." said Fred, looking slightly hurt.

"Don't take it personally." said Remus, tapping his wand to Fred's eye, causing the bruise to disappear. "He's grieving over Sirius, it's made him angry and prone to lashing out."

Fred eyed the closed door with concern. The whole family had been concerned over Harry's mental state.

When he entered the room, he found Harry curled up in a corner, clutching one of Sirius' old shirts and sobbing into it.

"Harry.." started Remus, stepping into the room and casting a locking and silencing charm on the door.

Harry jumped up, horrified and dropped Sirius' shirt.

"Go away!" he yelled, looking utterly mad. "Can't anybody understand that I want to be left alone?" he sobbed, clutching his chest.

"Calm yourself Harry James." said Remus sternly, seating himself on the sofa.

Harry scowled at Remus and leant against the wall, breathing heavily as tears ran down his face. Remus swallowed, Merlin this was going to be difficult.

"Come here." he said softly, beckoning Harry over.

"Piss off! You cant tell me what to do." snarled Harry, so unlike himself.

Remus had had enough.

"HARRY!" he shouted. Harry jumped as if electrocuted and clamped his mouth shut.

"You need to calm yourself Harry." he said firmly.

"Go away." Harry said with effort. When he really wanted the man to hold him close.

"No Harry James. We need to talk. You will not speak to people like that or physically assault someone who only has your best interests at heart. We know you are missing Sirius but there's no need to take it out on everyone."

Harry gave a small sob at the mention of Sirius and slumped defeated, sliding slowly down the wall

"I know it hurts Harry. But that does not mean you can upset people like that." Remus said softly, kneeling in front of the grieving boy.

Harry just whimpered and buried his face in his knees, hands gripping his hair

"Come on Harry. Lets sit on the sofa."

Harry shook his head vehemently and backed away slightly.

Harry was openly sobbing by now and Remus felt a twinge of sadness at the distraught look upon Harry's face. Sirius would have known what to do. This seemed to be out of his hands.

"Come on Harry." Remus said, reaching out a hand.

Harry looked up slowly, with tears running down his face. He took Remus' hand and allowed himself to be guided over to the sofa where he was pulled into Remus' lap.

Harry wasn't bothered by the fact that he was sitting in Remus' lap, he just soaked up the much needed comfort, burying his face in Remus chest and sobbing his heart out.

"Shh Harry it's okay. It's all going to be all right. I've got you. I'm here. Just let it out." said Remus, rocking Harry back and forth,

"I miss him so much." Harry sobbed "Why did he have to leave me?" Harry said, looking beseechingly into Remus' kind eyes.

"Oh Harry." Remus whispered. "Look at me. Good lad. Sirius loved you very much, he wouldn't want to see you like this and I know, that was he here he would hug you and try take all of the pain away."

"It's all my fault!" screamed Harry and he jumped up and ran for the door which was still locked.

Remus sprung into action, he raced across the room and grabbed Harry's shoulders so that he was facing him.

"Sirius' death was not your fault. Do you hear me? Sirius knew the risks when he went to the Department of Mysteries, he certainly would not blame you for this." he said firmly.

Harry gave a great sob and his knees buckled under the weight of his all consuming grief. Remus let go of Harry's shoulders and pulled the young boy to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around him. Harry's arms wrapped around Remus' waist and his hands gripped the back of Remus' robes as he rested his head on the older man's shoulder.

Remus robes were slowly getting soaked with Harry's tears. Slowly, without letting go of Harry, he moved to the sofa and sat down, pulling Harry with him. Harry shifted back into Remus' lap and buried his face into Remus' chest, gripping the front of his robes.

Remus held Harry for half an hour as he let out all of his pent up emotions.

"My fault. All my fault."

Harry was working himself into a state again. He clutched his stomach and jumped up, his legs buckled and he collapsed to the floor, on all fours.

He vomited over and over again as Remus stroked his hair soothingly. When he had finally finished and was sobbing dejectedly on the floor, Remus waved the sick away and pulled Harry back onto the sofa, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on his head, stroking his back.

Finally, after what seemed an age, Harry stopped crying, feeling thoroughly drained. Remus' robes were soaked from Harry's tears but he didn't care, he would hold Harry for as long as it took.

"You must be tired Harry." Remus said gently, eyeing the clock that said 3AM.

Harry nodded and closed his eyes.

"Lets get you to bed then. Come on you can sleep with me."

Harry nodded and reluctantly got up. Remus wrapped an arm around Harry's waist, keeping him steady and lead him out of the room and round the corner to his own bedroom.

Harry stood awkwardly as Remus pulled back the covers. He beckoned Harry over and took Harry's hand.

"In you get then Harry."

Harry nervously perched on the end of the mattress, wringing his hands, head hanging low. Remus sighed and sat down next to Harry. He wrapped an arm around him and pulled him so that he was lying down. Remus then pulled the cover over the both of them.

Unconsciously, Harry laid his head against Remus' chest, listening to his heartbeat. Remus wrapped his arms around the young boy and the two fell asleep, comforted by each others presence.

-xxx-

The next day found Harry hovering nervously outside his and Ron's bedroom, where he could hear Hermione and Ron talking. Taking a deep breath he entered the bedroom.

Hermione and Ron looked up when he entered.

"Before you sat anything I'm sorry. Anything I said I did not mean. I'm just missing Sirius so much." said Harry, plopping down on the bed.

He immediately found himself in a group hug. Ron and Hermione had dove at him, causing him to fall backwards.

"I can't believe you gave Fred a black eye." said Ron, chuckling.

"Yeah umm I was about to go and apologise."

There was no need however as at that moment, Fred and George apparated into the room with a loud POP! Causing Harry to jump.

"Fred..." Harry begun, noting with relief the absence of a black eye.

"Don't mention it." said Fred, smiling kindly at Harry.

"We just wanted you to know that me and Georgie here are here for you no matter what." said Fred.

George nodded "No matter what." repeated George.

Harry smiled gratefully at the twins and was even more grateful when they needed no words of thanks. They simply apparated away.

As Harry and Ron played chess, Harry's mind wandered. Sirius might be no longer with him but he had amazing friends and Remus to help him get through it, and... Harry smiled, if that wasn't love then he didn't know what was.

**Okay so yeah it's probably a bit sad. I know I've already got three other fics on the go but I couldn't resist, the idea came to me and refused to go away. What do you think? **


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